Captain’s Log: independent freighter Krayt Fang
Captain Kelko Gen dictating (translated from Rodese)
I can’t believe we had to steal this Corellian piece of Bantha poodoo. Still, it’s better than not having a ship, and far better than being stuck on that dirtball planet. Too bad that Trandoshan left his lizard stink all over the ship. I wonder if opening all the hatches and letting all the nastiness blow out into space will make things smell better?
Anyway, after getting busting out of prison, I tracked down my Bothan friend, Azira. She’s still a little idealistic, but we didn’t have time to philosophize. I also met up with a couple of human mercs (whose names I still can’t remember, honestly, they all look alike with their smooth, squishy skin), though I think one of them is a bounty hunter. I hope my name never comes across his target list. I’m not sure how we all ended up on the run from Teemo the Hutt’s goons in Mos Shuuta, but I wasn’t getting made into a jacket by those club-wielding piggies. We ducked into a cantina. I sidled up to the bar and ordered a drink. Azira clung to me and we tried to look casual. The humans ducked into booths behind us. I don’t know if it was the fact that I had a sexy female dangling on my arm or if the humans were just making too much damn noise, but we didn’t fool the piggies for long and they came at us. After spilling my drink, I blasted one of the Gamorreans, and even Azira got in on the action with her little pistol. One of the humans got his nose splattered, but honestly, it was an improvement, although, I was surprised to see a human’s face get even flatter than it already was. After dealing with the goon squad, the Devonarian bartender told us the best way to get offworld: steal a ship, but we were going to need to replace some hypermatter injector thingie first (I just fly ‘em, I don’t know what makes them go).
Fortunately, one of the few resources Tattooine is rich in is junk stores. So, we found a junk shop and tried to pick up the replacement part, but Azira just had too honest a face (I know, it’s unheard of for a Bothan). The owner didn’t buy her story that were there to pick it up for the ship’s captain, and he locked down his store and sounded an alarm. We hauled jets out of there and hid in the scrapyard while Stormtroopers responded to the call. Since when did the Empire give a space slug’s butt about crime on Tattooine? Fortunately for us, the junk store owner abused his droid and Azira was better at sweet-talking droids than she was humans. The droid agreed to go back in the shop and get the part for us if she did a few minor repairs on him. The droid was more than happy to screw over his boss. (Note to self: do not buy an R5 unit. Addendum: Make sure whatever droid you buy gets a restraining bolt.)
Naturally, just getting the part wasn’t good enough. We also needed to disengage the docking clamps holding the Krayt Fang down in docking bay Aurek. The only place we could do that was Spaceport Control. Fantastic. The bounty hunter feigned heat exhaustion (not much of a stretch, honestly) just outside the control center and as I tended to his needs, we kept an eye on the personnel inside. The other human and Azira snuck around the side entrance to try to find a way to slice into the system. They must’ve been successful because they came back out with no alarms blaring and no one in pursuit. Now all we had to do was get to the docking bay and steal our ship.
Unfortunately the Stormtroopers caught up with us on the way to the docking bay. They started blasting us, but we blasted right back, so they pulled out vibroknives and tried to shank us. Stupid stormies bringing knives to a gunfight. We ended their miserable existence, and if we hadn’t shot their armor full of holes, I would’ve taken some. My clothes have proved to be poor protection from blasters, vibroknives, and clubs. The docking bay was guarded by a couple of battle droids. I wanted to just blast them, but Azira managed to sweet-talk them into letting us deliver the part to Captain Trex, after all, we were the technicians who were going to install it. I don’t know why she’s better at sweet-talking droids than organics, but whatever. I’d been clubbed, shot at, and nearly stabbed, so my temper was a little short by then.
Captain Trex wasn’t as easy to fool and he ordered his droids to blast us while he tried to eat the merc’s face and take our hyperdrive injector thing. You’d think four cheap battle droid would be pushovers, but these things Trex had would give Stormtroopers a run for their money. They nearly took Azira out, but in the end, we reduced them to parts. We weren’t able to vaporize Trex, though, and I can only hope that A) he bled out on the docking bay floor, B) he didn’t hear me say I intended to skin him and make a coat out of his hide, and C) the engine wash from us stealing his ship incinerated his stinky, scaly, carcass.
For the record, we totally didn’t steal his ship. It was MY ship to begin with and I was taking it back from him. I seem to have very poor taste, though. I never liked the YT-1300, and I don’t know what I was thinking painting it the color of rust. (Note to self: maybe I can rename the ship Rust Bucket…or Trex’s Folly heh heh heh). This stupid thing! I think it transcribed my chuckle. Anyway, I think the old Counselor-class cruisers are much nicer ships. I always wanted one with a nice luxury pod under the cockpit with a two-level apartment and a nice swimming pool. Yeah. Just gotta find more artifacts and sell them. Did you know some humans, particularly Alderaanians, get really uptight when you sell antiquities to the highest bidder? It’s junk! Who am I to argue when someone wants to give me a bucket of credits for some ancient religious icons?
Well, we blasted off just fine, but the hyperdrive was still broken. One of the humans, um, the one with hair, I think, or wait? Do they both have hair? Well, he had a stimpack left and got Azira back on her feet. She ran to install the injector thing while I performed miracles flying the Rust Bucket and evade the TIE Fighters that decided they needed to shoot at my ship. The humans were pretty good with the ship’s guns, but it was my piloting that saved the day, because I am A. Mazing. I got on the comm and told the Imperials to stop shooting holes in my ship, but the Imperials required explosive maintenance before they actually stopped. Azira got the part installed and we headed off to scrub the ship’s records. I can’t let it out that I let a Trandoshan commandeer my ship like that. How embarrassing.
Braddok Tal and Maximo! That was their names! I ought to make those humans wear armbands or something so I can tell them apart.